The Exploiter (of relationships)

A formal word that you may not think you identify but-
You have met this person. You have heard stories of this person. You have seen the train wreck of emotional, financial and physical destruction left by this person. You may even be this person.

Don’t be mistaken; this person has likely been through the trenches, and they are tough—forced survival. Like many who endure trauma or significant challenges, this person is a survivor. However, unlike the usual empathetic nature of survivors, the exploiter is without a moral or compassionate compass, the opposite of empathy. They will do whatever they need to do to serve themselves and meet their own needs. The exploiter relies on the manipulation of others for their survival and success. They desperately need to control the narrative.

How do they accomplish this magic?
Who would fall for this?

They take advantage of soft and giving hearts, people who find good in others and are empathetic. Those who have not yet found their way; have not met themselves yet…they find comfort in what seems like genuine companionship and direction. It feels good.

Skilled exploiters have insight to read people; they are chameleons who will present however needed to get what they require,

• Cheerful, happy, and sweet√
• A victim that needs saving√
• Loving and attentive√
• Tales of big ideas and dreams that involve the target√
• Possibly the life of the party√

Sounds like a great person to be around, right? The problem is – this is not who they are – a wolf in sheepskin.

There is an agenda, a secret agenda. They will never admit to it. And if you call them out they will flip the script and make you the perpetrator of their distress, sadness, financial deficit and the reason for failure of the relationship. They must be the victim, not the villain.
Anyone that gets in the way will be slandered, and deconstructed with the goal of removing the influence; obstacle.

Exploitation can happen on a small scale or significantly grossly committed acts. An example in the middle may look like the person involved with an abuser or narcissist. The target is love-bombed, they hear everything they need and want to hear. But hidden in the whispers of sweet nothings are intentions of betrayal and deceit. Messages of encouragement to abandon one’s family and friends, explaining that they are somehow poison. Messages to succumb to every wish and whim of the exploiter.
One moment, one comment, one event at a time. Eventually you will submit. You won’t even know when it happens, a smooth transition – relinquishing your emotional, financial, and physical dependence to the exploiter. And somehow feeling responsible for the exploiter’s mood swings and betrayal.

Strange magic, isn’t it.

Until we meet again,
Koi Monkeys