Self-respect is the foundation of self-care and may be the most significant building block in our ability to develop and maintain resilience. To care for ourselves, we must first respect ourselves and our own needs. This means we must be honest with ourselves about those needs and how they might differ from what others need or expect from us. When we don’t have self-respect, we may put other people ahead of ourselves and their needs ahead of ours.

Just to be clear, when I say self-care should be primary, I don’t mean literally in an entitled way, such as our mischievous friend the ego would have us believe. No, in fact, self-respect is not about putting ourselves on a pedestal and viewing everything else as beneath us. Instead, it’s about recognizing that we are deserving of care and respect and identifying when others are deserving of the same treatment. It’s important to remember that self-respect doesn’t mean being selfish or narcissistic—it means respecting your own needs just as much as you respect the needs of others. It is about recognizing that if you care for yourself and meet your needs, then you can give of yourself to others, serve others, and aid in meeting their needs.

Balance in all aspects of our being is essential and something I write about often; however, self-respect is more. Self-respect is entirely focused on you – the self. Self-respect is about recognizing that you have worth, value, and importance. It’s recognizing that your needs matter as much as anyone else’s. It’s also about knowing what those needs are and taking the steps necessary to meet them.

Sometimes, the steps we need to take in order to protect our self-respect are challenging or even painful in the moment.

We might need to say no, even when it’s not what someone wants to hear. We might need to end a relationship, making us feel less than awesome about ourselves. We might need to make changes in our lives so that we can better manage our stress levels.

When we do not protect or self-respect we lessen our armor, we tell ourselves that we are not as important, not valued, less. This in itself lowers or threatens our resistance.

Whatever your situation, self-respect is always worth the work required. Be mindful of the seeds planted by others and the seeds of devalue planted by yourself. Be your own bodyguard.

Until next time,

Koi Monkeys